Just to mark a milestone... I finally finished off a tough project work-wise. The project manager is known for his style of having to pick on someone in his team. This was someone else at the beginning of the project - that person resigned and the next person was me. His choice phrases were designed to be destructive as opposed to being constructive and I had these thrown at me a few times a day. Call me fortunate but in my not-that-smooth career, I never had someone regularly shouting at me for matters whether under my control or not. I resigned once, in January, but was persuaded by my big boss to stay on. I'd thought I could hang on until the project finished in March/April. Unfortunately it was extended for 2 months and then 1 more. An eternity when getting through each workday with all its verbal abuse was torture to me.
MCO brought no relief as we had team status meetings 2-3 times a day where he would regularly find fault with me in front of the whole team. I was working morning to night, weekends too, and totally stressed out.
Some thoughts... while I'm convinced that this person who took such pleasure in being a bully was the main problem, could I have handled things better? How could I have let myself be bullied like that at my age? I did try different approaches to no avail. Have my mental faculties slowed down? This is a possibility, I have noticed I can take a long time to do things. Should I look for another position with a more leisurely pace? Still pondering on this.
I'm on leave for August, need to detox and regain some balance.
Must have been tough and stressful for you being picked and bullied by your project manager. He sounds like a very unhappy person. A rest will be good for you. Hope by the end of your leave, you would have regained your balance and decided on your next course.
ReplyDeleteInteresting you brought that up. I did hear that he suffers from mild depression.
DeleteIs this bully working in your company or from another company? If in your company, couldn't your big boss put him in place? But if he is the customer, I can understand why you don't want to speak up. I won't be able to tolerate these people. I would definitely speak my mind and say we are all professionals here, do you need to use these kind of phrases / languages / tone with your experience in life and in work? What does it say about you as a person to be behaving this way at your age and status? And then I will get fired by my company but Tak apa lah. Cannot simply be abused verbally by other people. Jobs are everywhere. Just need to look for them and take pay cut if necessary. No one should be treated this way. This project manager should not be allowed by his company to behave this way, causing mental distress to his team. Terrible person, what a terrible person. May you never have to work with him again. Please enjoy your break and have a good time relaxing and healing your mind and soul.
ReplyDeleteThe bully is in my company but from the Penang office hence not directly under my big boss.
DeleteI'd made the decision early on to put what he says aside and just get on with work, rather than confront him directly. I actually did try that but as I shouted back, he continued shouting. I concluded no point taking this tack as he has a lot of practice being aggressive so cannot beat him that way.
My industry is slowing down so not that many jobs available. Yes almost certain would be looking at pay cut.
Well you are right not to be aggressive back. This kind of person need to know that others will not take this kind of nonsense from him. I think someone needs to just walk away when he is shouting or just leave the meeting or if online meeting just hang up n send an email saying not attending meetings that are abusive. These monsters if no one stand up to them, they will think they are GOD.
DeletePlease give yourself a big pat on the back for persevering until the project is completed. You have done well. May you never meet another person who is such a lowly creature ever again in your life. 🤞
ReplyDeleteThanks for your encouraging words. Appreciate them.
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