Additional birthday meals

As always when birthdays fall on a weekday, the birthday person gets to pick a weekend meal as well.  I remembered this in time to claim my additional pick heh.  Well my original choices were derailed by free birthday stuff from various places - perks of joining loyalty programs.  Wataiwan was offering a free Taiwanese chicken chop - sure, I'll bite!

With said free chicken hehe

JE wanted this milk tea bingsu which I was expected to share.  Quite nice, just that it was a lot for only the two of us.   

This one is yummy

The next weekend happened to be my turn to pick.  Chose 103 coffee which was offering a free slice of cake.  Picked the alcoholic kahlua tiramisu - oh this was very good.

Our lunch spread

Purposely took pictures as I was already planning to post onto my blog.

My birthday 2026

Right after CNY 15th day was my birthday.  I have always been emotional on this day.  The uncertainty whether colleagues would arrange lunch or I would somehow be alone (possible when colleagues happen to be stuck at meetings).  The uneasy anticipation of a birthday cake and when the cake-cutting would happen.  I take leave if possible to avoid that kind of stress and to do whatever I want on my 'special day'.

This year marks my first birthday after hubby passed.  I kept thinking of this day back in 2025 - my disappointment when hubby couldn't be discharged yet from hospital post-surgery, my annoyance that he continually requested things to be done for him until I had to have a dismal dinner due to food having run out at the shop downstairs.  I told myself that it was ok, I would make up for it in 2026.

I never expected 2026 to turn out like this.  No more hubby to pamper me with food, a massage, sometimes presents (I often don't want anything).  I tried, but still spent most of the day in tears.  Walked past CBTL and decided to redeem my birthday cake voucher because why not.  

 

Me with cake

I had considered going out for dinner but our area is predominantly Malay and I figured shops would be packed for Ramadan month.  

That evening, got a text that my parents had decided to go out for my birthday dinner.  I bawled some more.  I am so grateful to have my parents around during this dreadful chapter in my life.  We went to a nearby place which was empty (because food isn't great heh).  

Me with sponsor of dinner

I have much to be grateful for, must pick myself up and continue this journey.  

CNY potluck

The best day for our CNY potluck turned out to be on Chap Goh Meh (15th day of CNY).  Food was a mixture of bought and home-cooked.  My mother prepared many items as usual - the yee sang, her signature bak kien/pork rolls, vinegar pork trotters and punch. 

I refuse to smile

Get ready for yee sang

I had sauce left from my Dragon-i 'poon choy'.  Decided to make our own as it can't be that difficult right?  I made sure it had an even number of ingredients.  Bought fried chicken feet from the market and braised that together with mushrooms - #1 and #2.  #3 pork belly cooked till tender, #4 cooked chicken, #5 prawns and #6 broccoli.  Arrange everything in a pot, pour the sauce over and heat up at the stove.  Tadahh!!  Turned out very well indeed! 

Home-made 'poon choy'

We ate outside this year - good also as the temperature was lower!  (I have to record this in case of any future questions on who/what/where/how haha)

Pause eating short while for camera

We remembered to take a group photo this time.  The first one had my father's tummy showing, that's why the cushion is there as the solution.  We had a good laugh over this!

Much better!

All right, done and dusted for this year's CNY.

Soft cookies

We did make our usual seaweed crackers for CNY but I completely forgot to take photos.  

I finally out why our cookies were burnt last year... basically the oven thermostat is malfunctioning hence it would just get hotter and hotter.  So didn't bother to bake any CNY cookies this year.

After getting an oven thermometer, we can use the oven by manually turning it on and off.  JE made non-CNY soft cookies to eat.

Go flat y'alls

Pat-a-pat

I'm just happy when she gets off her electronic gadgets.

No celebration

In the recent years, we would wear our CNY clothes and head off to a mall to take photos.  This was a 'no-celebration' year in honour of hubby's passing.  Hmm I checked back, we had a 'no-celebration' year in 2018 due to MIL's passing.  8 years difference... such a short time.  MIL had a good long life whilst hubby's ended way too soon.

We were in 1Utama and checked out the deco.  Nothing too fancy.  I asked the girls to follow the poses other people were doing.

Horse butt at the back hehehe

And some fake plum blossoms

At least some red-red colours in my blog to mark the CNY.

CNY Day2

Hubby's side of the family suggested to continue with our usual CNY gatherings at my place.  I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle it - I was drowning in sorrow and prone to uncontrollable crying.  They used to come to visit him and now his chair would be empty.  He used to be the excited one planning the whole night together with our maid - I would almost be a guest who happened to live in the house!

Anyway I decided to proceed.  This would be a small group who would understand if my grief showed.  This same group were also formally in mourning and not allowed to celebrate CNY or visit people, so might as well we are together for this occasion.

Ordered a 'poon choy' from Dragon-i, added on vegetables and omelette, and guest contributed roast pork.

I was now the eldest in the group and merited a seat.  Erm I was planning to change shirt but didn't get round to it.

The people and the food

JE and SE were tasked with entertaining the younger guests.  Not so easy when people gravitate naturally to their electronic gadgets!  At least the girls played with aquabeads and there was one board game session.

My turn

Hmm the poon choy didn't seem to be worth its price of RM338.  Premium ingredients were only prawns, some dried scallops and oyster.  Next time must look for alternatives. 

Liquor was a 25-year aged single malt whisky from hubby's stash - saw a price of RM1640 from the internet.  Heh yes the liquor price overshadowed the food one for sure!  Alcohol was hubby's passion.

Took a picture of the box for record-keeping the next morning...

I'll just eat my breakfast

Overall the night went ok actually.  I plan to continue this gathering in coming years.

CNY Eve

(I must get on with my posts even though this is the saddest CNY)

CNY eve dinner was with my family as per the previous 3 years. 
2023 The first year I'd spent this day with my family since getting married.  I was so happy heh.
2024:  Eventful one as our 2 maids caught covid and then my father.  Eventually managed to celebrate this day, yay.
2025: Normal one. :)

On to 2026 aka now.  Dinner started with yee sang which my mum made from scratch, down to early hunting for a raw-ish papaya to pickle.

Huat huat

Next the steamboat.  Improved the menu based on previous year's experience - less fishballs and more other items!  This time we had added shabu pork, cuttlefish, chicken on stick.

Eat eat chat chat

 

The kids were looking forward to gambling.  My bro prepared the RM3 'seed money' as usual.  SE lost everything haha.

Gamble gamble

If only hubby had been around, this time he could just have conveniently walked upstairs to his room at my parents' place.  Instead of waiting for the night to be over (as for the other years) in order to go home.  

For me, I missed him a lot this night.  Chatted to my aunt about him - it helps me to receive words of understanding/support which I will also think back on.

My sis's family had to go early to the airport and we forgot to take a family photo.

2025 photobook

One thing I had been busy on was our yearly photobook.  For once this was such an emotional task for me.  Hubby was with us 11 months of 2025.  Seeing how healthy hubby looked at the beginning of the year, seeing us as a complete family, in fact just seeing pictures of hubby... I was sobbing my heart out while putting this book together.  

 
Front cover

I'd planned on starting the book with a photo with four of us and end with one of only three, but JE said to put one of four.  So ok, start and end with four.  Hubby was using a tongkat/walking stick after radiotherapy and steroid medication for swelling in the brain. 

Back cover

Finally my job was done and the order sent off.  The physical book arrived - only this time hubby wasn't around as usual to check out the book.  And complain why I selected some pictures of him that weren't flattering haha.  

SE thought there wasn't much point printing this book out.  Well, for me growing up with non-digital cameras, we always had printed photos in albums.  It seemed good to me to have a book to turn over pages and pass around.  ONE book a year is already less than the photoalbums in my parents' cupboard!  I'll probably continue this practice. 

Our rings

At hubby's wake, I was advised to remove jewellery including my wedding ring.  I have worn this ring for 19 years.  I liked how it looked on my finger, the small clunk sound it made when I smack my hand on something hard.  I had a habit of twisting it round and round.  

But I have not put it on since the wake.  For one, I had 'grown in size' and some force was required to pull the ring up past my knuckle.  It would be difficult to get it on and off again.  Mainly though because... I feel that our story - mine and hubby's - has already ended.  How can there be an "OUR story", symbolised by these matching rings, when he is no longer here with me?

Two rings at the start

We never said the word 'LOVE' but I guess we lived it

Hubby kept all kinds of things.  Among his stuff I found this leaflet, which I never even knew existed, from the jewellery shop.  The rings are platinum-plus-gold; hubby liked platinum because it has little resale value.  I don't get it... wouldn't something with high resale value be better?  Haha.  

Ah, ours is the first design

Two rings now at the end

 My plan now is to store them together.  Together as hubby and me once were.

Grief

After our Taiwan trip... there certainly was a lot to do to clear up and settle.  But no, wave after wave of grief struck, relentlessly.  Every time I woke up, I immediately thought of him and how he was no longer in his bed.  Every time I stabilised a while, all too soon I would be hit afresh with the realisation that there was now a void in my life where hubby once was.  After over 20 years of being together, there was nowhere I could find peace from the pain of losing him.  Every location, every object held reminders that he was once there, and that now he is not, and that he never will be there again. 

SE took these pictures of his place at our dinner table.  She said she wanted to remember how it was.

The first chair was hubby's

Snacks and stuff still where he left them

Honestly I was surprised by how unbearable, how unthinkable, how awful losing hubby would feel.  And many times I wonder how I can carry on from here.

Taiwan Day9 - Home

We reached home with no delays at all.  Well in time for the "3rd 7th-day" prayers for hubby later in the day. 

This had been a surreal trip - from the original normal planning and preparation, to the 'backup plan' of us having to leave hubby at home, to finally us going without him because he had already left us.  We talked about him throughout... Papa would have liked the weather as it's not that cold, Papa would have liked the food, Papa would have complained non-stop about this queue, this tour would not have been suitable for Papa, no way Papa could have walked this trail with his recent mobility level (and hubby had been so fit before the brain tumors sigh).  We remembered to get Captain Hook out for pictures. 

From an initial damp start, I got into the groove as the trip progressed.  Seeing my girls enjoy the itinerary I had put together made my step light in the morning as we left our hotel for another day out.

As usual we bought some snacks home to share with family and friends.  The loot is much less without hubby's portion as he was the biggest shopper and consumer.  Oh, now he is not here to defend himself.  Well some of the snacks he had bought from Bangkok are actually not eaten yet.

Our Taiwan loot including our jeans from NET

Taiwan Themed 7-11s

One post on this... we went looking for some 'themed' 7-11 outlets which are a thing in Taiwan.    Initially we couldn't find one even with a map.  Apparently it's common enough for a themed outlet to revert to a normal one so maybe that's what happened.  We were excited to find our first one - 'Open Chan' is an alien dog with rainbow ears which is the official mascot for 7-11 in Taiwan.

Found one!

Take another pic with building-brick version

Themed outlets have deco with the mascot - eg walls and ceilings - and sell related merchandise.  We weren't crazy about any character but hunted and detoured to a few outlets.  

Found a Hello Kitty one. Very pink

See how PINK? We are not fans

We do like Sumkko Gurashi characters.  The soft toy merchandise were too big to be bringing home though.  Would have been good if they could sell more things including smaller items like keychains or stickers.  

Now these are cute

Cute characters and in nice colours

Most of these themed outlets were small hence didn't have the space to decorate very well.  

Aha found a Snoopy one

Anyway, just for fun!

Taiwan Day8 - Taipei 101, Songshan and Huashan Cultural parks

We had one more day in Taipei, but had already gone to all the places on my list.  Had to scramble to find things to do.  We checked out from our hotel (listed as "UrbanAbode Dugu") which conveniently had a luggage storage area - no regrets staying there!  Took the train to the touristy Taipei 101.  I am not a fan of visiting high-rise buildings.  Charges to go up to the Observatory were high so we didn't bother.

We were there

Nah we didn't go up

Decided to check out Songshan Cultural park next.  I saw a well-patronised Hong Kong restaurant while walking... but hubby who would have appreciated Chinese cuisine wasn't around.  I must say that hubby was very much on my mind this trip.  :(  We walked into a Japanese yakitori place instead - food was average only.

Ok lah can eat lah

Songshan was a tobacco factory converted to an arty place.  Hmm I don't GET it.  It's not really an art place, many areas seemed to be more for students or other people who belonged there, there were things to see but not organised.   

Funny duck

Funny octopus-monkey stack

Cool things in the shop

Cool wall painting

We decided to move on to Huashan Creative park, which had a similar concept. This one had more visitors, had food outlets (unlike Songshan) and was overall more 'fun'. 

Giant Snoopy on a cream puff

Found some pixies

Pretty wooden things at Wooderful

Still, I don't get the concept of these cultural parks.  There wasn't enough happening (on a normal day) to warrant a visit.  We wandered around a bit then headed back for our luggage and then on to the airport for our flight home. 

Taiwan Day7 - Yangmingshan National Park

Two things - first thing, getting there was TOUGH!  It was quite a wait for the 260 bus at the Taipei Main Station, then we had to stand for the 45-min journey.  Reached the Yangmingshan bus terminal where it was a longish wait for the 108 shuttle bus.  It came and, oh what a journey!  We hung on for dear life as the bus swayed all over the steep windy roads.  It was such a LONG ride too.  

Second thing, this place is GORGEOUS.  :)  Until I encountered problems selecting which photos to post here!  I decided on Xiaoyoukeng as our first stop with its volcanic fumaroles (from Google, these are openings in the earth surface which emit volcanic gases).  Well it was something special all right!  Erm, the smell of sulphur/rotten eggs does take getting used to.

Us with Hook, representative of hubby

Volcanic gas coming out behind us

Very hot, sign says don't even think of touching

The bigger stops have visitor centres and shops - not sure about smaller stops.  Bought some hot pastries at the Xiaoyoukeng (literally means 'Small Oil Pit') shop for lunch. 

Lunch first

The map of the trails in the area were not super-clear.  We went up this 'Bamboo trail' we spotted behind the shop.  The steps were steep and endless.  Lovely trail but no way our fitness level could cope. 

Err we go down soon

Went out to the front where there was a small lane beside the road.  Seems there are plenty of nice walks to be had.

This one better

Our goal was the trail we saw on the way in.  And so we climbed.  This one... was also quite steep.  After huffing and puffing for some time, this sign told us we had done 0.2km out of the 1.6km to the peak.  Hahha... ok so we also had to surrender for this trail!  

Shall we continue?

No no, we sit and then go down

I had mistakenly thought 108 was a shuttle bus which conveniently drops people off at various points of interest.  Oh no no, it only runs every 30mins.  We waited longer than that to get to Qiantiangang, another spot in Yangmingshan.  Having to depend on this bus really means we cannot visit many spots in a day!  Anyway, it finally arrived.  Our destination was the 'Qiantiangang Circular trail'.

This way looks good

Now this trail, was jussttt right.  The weather was sunny yet cool, perfect.  This trail was mostly flat with some steps along the way.

Beautiful day eh?

Beautiful day beautiful surroundings

Everywhere, just WOW

We-fie with Captain Hook representing our Papa

We walked along and chatted.  We agreed hubby would have difficulty navigating this trail at his recent level of mobility.  He had holidayed in Taiwan before with his friends when the girls were still too young to travel - I wondered if he had visited this national park.  The scenery was varied.  We ate our snacks at this fortress.

Fortress here

Such a peaceful place.  It was large enough that we didn't encounter many people deeper into the trail.

Eating my snack in peace

The trail is apparently a 45-min one, but we took our time and only reached the starting point again in 1.5 hours.  After thinking we had missed the last bus back to Taipei, luckily another bus 260 arrived.  Phew, saved.  SE chose this place called 'Joyful' at the Main Station for dinner.  My katsu choice really hit the spot for me and I kept telling the girls I was very joyful hehe.

My super-joyful mummy

Definitely an excellent day!