These are the two truths I will hold on to.
1. I will not blame myself for hubby's passing. I could have taken action more promptly when his seizure began. Possibly that would have altered the course of events as well as the end result. Possibly also that would not have changed anything. Hubby did recover from the seizure. While in the hospital, he never once expressed disapproval why I didn't call the ambulance earlier. I well remember that he drew me close to him in the hospital bed for a hug at one point. So I must not assign blame when he did not.
2. Myself, JE and SE will live our best lives. That is clearly his wish, though he definitely wanted to be part of our lives for as long as possible. So we must go on.
I was just fretting, JE and SE are still so young and their memories of Papa would fade in time. Then I realised that, no, their Papa is a part of them and will always be there when they think back.
