Gone forever

How do I write this... my husband is gone.  I am still in shock and denial.  His health wasn't good but he was not in a critical condition.  I will write details down as they happened so that I will not forget.

Tues 18/12:  Hubby had a follow up visit after his radiation.  The MRI scan was clear, no tumour.  Phew!  Good to go until the next MRI scan half a year later.

That night, he had a mild seizure which stopped by itself.  Later on, a more severe one where he asked me to get his emergency medication.  I administered it and the jerking slowed down and stopped.

Sat 22/12 morning:  I was out fetching JE from art class when hubby called that he was having a seizure.  I got home, it didn't look so bad.  I left him a while.  But after some time, I panicked enough to give him the emergency medication.  It didn't work.  I waited a while then gave him another half dose.  Still didn't stop.  Called the ambulance.

Let's get you to the hospital

Followed the ambulance while blaming myself for not giving medication earlier, not calling the ambulance earlier.  

After some hours when hubby woke up, he could only speak gibberish.  Sounded like 'sama sama kala HAISSHHH sama kala HAIHHH' and repeat.  The HAISSH was loud with frustration.  I couldn't even tell what language he was trying to speak and was terrified it was brain damage.  By night-time, although a few real words was there, so was the gibberish.  But I could understand he was telling me to go home first and rest.  I repeated, you want me to go home and rest?  He nodded.

Sun 23/12:  His speech was still unclear but more real words had appeared.  He seemed very tired and kept dozing off.  The ambulance had sent him to the nearest hospital which was a government one - very low nurse to patient ratio.  Some tasks were expected to be DIY by family members.  I had to change his diaper myself after an interminable wait for a nurse.

Restraints on his wrists... he tried to get off the bed 

so I had to call for help

Mon 24/12:  He could make sense already. Phew!  Sounded like he didn't have teeth somehow though.  Also strangely he couldn't sit up even though he could move his arm and leg.  Service continued to be bad.  Hubby noticed leakage on his IV tube and called for a nurse the whole night but none came.

Tue 25/12:  Before this hubby didn't dare eat anything for fear of pooping.  This day, he had to poop.  Apparently family members were expected to change poopy diapers.  Sigh.  Guess that would be me.  Me who hadn't changed diapers since SE was a baby, oh, over a decade ago.   Being an adult, hubby had way more poop.  Every time I wiped, the yellow was still there on the wet wipe.  But finally got the job done. 

The doctor at the Emergency ward discharged him and advised us to send him to UMSC where his records were. She said he was stable, didn't have more seizures but he needed to be in a neuro ward and the one at that hospital was already full.

We got a private ambulance to send (SNJ services, easy to deal with).  Hubby's oxygen levels were low so he was given oxygen in the ambulance.

Off to the next hospital

However when he arrived at UMSC, his doctors were all out of town and he couldn't be admitted.  The only way in was via Emergency.  Finally he was accepted there finally but oh, it felt like going from the frying pan into the fire.  The Emergency waiting area was full of patients.  No food nor water was provided.  No stretcher was available so he was still on the ambulance one at rm100/hour.  He kept saying it was a mistake and I agreed this was a terrible situation.  In hindsight we should have pushed harder to be kept in the government hospital!    But they WERE doing tests on him, coming every so often including to wheel him off somewhere.

Wed 26/12:  Still in Emergency.  They continued to do tests.  The CT scan showed some fluid build-up in the brain.  He contracted lung infection and was started on antibiotics.  Finally at night, he was admitted to the neuro ward.

Zzzzz

Thu 27/12:  A decent place finally.  The doctor came and said if not for the lung infection, she could discharge him already.  The fluid in the brain was possibly normal for hubby after his recent radiation sessions.  A second MRI scan was ordered to make sure.  Hubby strangely still couldn't even sit up by himself.  My mum had a blood test at the hospital and dropped by to see him (I had gone off to buy the new medication he was prescribed).  She later reported that he was better than she expected.

That night, I stayed till 8pm.  It was raining heavily and Grab was difficult to hail.  I finally got one and headed to my apartment, picked up my car and drove to my parents' house.  Just before I reached, at 9.43pm, the hospital called me to return immediately.  Hubby had collapsed and they were doing CPR.  Way before I reached, he was gone.  Time recorded was 9.50pm.

Ah Mah’s birthday 2025

This is the latest ever we are celebrating my mother's birthday.  My brother's family was down with influenza A on the actual day, my sister's trip was across the next 2 weekends and my brother had a trip the weekend after that.  So a WHOLE MONTH LATER, finally the makan!  This was at Little Heritage House in PJ.

The setting was gorgeous - Nyonya-style coupled with Christmas deco.  The serving plates fit the theme and every piece was in the same design.  The service was impeccable.  I dropped my fork, picked it up and was about to wipe it for use when the waitress appeared at my side with a new fork.

Us, in a pretty place

On to the food.  Presentation was fine but the taste... only average.  Could have done with more seasoning, more TASTE.

Four-season kind of platter

Oh well, just enjoy ourselves with the company and the environment.  When the meal was finished, the staff walked out singing Happy Birthday, clapping, holding the birthday cake with candles all lit.  And this big placard thing for the birthday girl to hold hahaha.

I'm supposed to hold this? Hahaha.

Really, this place has the best service I have ever encountered.  If only they would get themselves a new chef.  :)

With the grandkids

With kids, spouses and grandkids

Happy birthday to my mother!

School done

JE's school year is practically all done.  Exams are over and now classes are being rotated to make way for the SPM exams.  JE has about 2 days of school every 2 weeks.  Not that much is happening during these 2 days.  On the off days, mornings look like this... the yellow hippo was placed by me on top of her to disturb and wake her up, but no go.  She eventually woke up in time for lunch.

Zzzzzzzz

She did work very hard during the exam so I guess she deserves some time off.  

Food at home

For weekends, I would be head (and only) chef.   Though I dream of being able to produce great food, reality is I don't have the knack for it.  So I am happy that food from my kitchen has been edible so far.  Sometimes components end up with issues like being over/under-cooked, over/under-seasoned or just plain problematic.  Still, we never had to order a pizza or something at the last minute heh.  But to my surprise, my kiddos actually say they like Mummy's cooking!  JE, my normally not-so-appreciative teen, said she looks forward to the meals I make.  Which boosts my pleasure and confidence no end. :)

Let's see we have been eating... might as well note this down in detail for my records.  Once I have a maid, the cooking probably will be handed over.

Pasta salad with pan-fried chicken

Roast chicken and veggies with mash potato

Fish soup with lime juice/cili padi and veggies

Salmon with assorted roast veggies

Wraps (love the colour of these spinach wraps but the taste isn't distinctive)

Burgers with home-made patty, a simple salad

Roast chicken leg with baby potatoes, simple cucumber/tomato salad

Shabu pork wrapped around enoki 

Fried fish with tofu/assorted veggies

Lok-lok van

My first private lok-lok experience!  I'd always liked the concept of these trucks.  There are all the concerns on food hygiene, which I'm not that particular about since the sticks are put into boiling hot water to cook.  Well the sauces are not boiled of course, have to trust our fellow humans not to dip raw food or saliva inside?  Anyway an iron stomach is always a good thing.

Photos turned out nice against the evening sky...

 

Our very own truck

We can take anything we want!

I have an uncle who moved to Canada with the family.  Various members will come to Malaysia every so often, which will be our excuse for an extended family get-together. 

Noting here that my bro's family couldn't make it for this event as they got influenza A, one after another.

Yak yak yak

Food for SE's lunch

My first task every morning - make lunch for SE. From thinking this job was temporary until our helper returned, I'm still holding the job 6 months later.  We have settled into a routine - each week would typically contain a rotation of salad, soup and sandwich.  SE would prefer zero dressing but I insist she doesn't eat things completely plain, so her salads would have a small portion of dressing - lime/lemon juice, yogurt, olive oil, salt etc. Putting some pictures here for my own record. 

Baby potatoes, chicken, salad

Poke bowl-style

Chicken salad one side, chickpea salad the other

Beef brisket, sweet potato, lettuce+tomato with lime dressing

Pasta salad 

Quinoa salad

Lentil salad

Soups with rice/pasta would be in a tall container hence not as photogenic and I can't find pictures.  :)  

Status of new maid

I had been fortunate enough to locate a suitable-looking replacement soon after our maid Jane 'absconded'.  BUT our agent was offline when her profile was posted up by the agency.  By the time she responded to my message, the profile was already listed as taken.  FORTUNATELY the first taker didn't work out and hurrah, it was green light for us!  We settled back to wait out the 3 months or so it would take for processing.  THEN after all that time, it seemed the new person would arrive right before or smack in the middle of our Bangkok trip.  Come on... how often are we away??  Haha.  Still, worst case she would be able to stay at the agency first (for a fee).

We left for Bangkok thinking we would have a maid again upon our return.

HOWEVER.  In the middle of our holiday, I received a call from the agency... our new maid had gotten pregnant and everything was off.  Right when all her documents were ready, on the eve of her flying to Malaysia!  

Oh no. We are still kakak-less

Sigh.  That night and the next day after the call, I was busy scrolling through available profiles.  Luckily there were quite a number posted, I selected and interviewed one, accepted and now the process has started.  Again.  Another 3 months or so.  Fingers crossed until she arrives.

Bangkok Day7 - Home

Last day... hubby suggested having lunch there to avoid rushing.  Good idea as the airport food court had plenty of choices with super reasonable prices (contrast to what we encountered in KLIA2 ahead of this trip!).

We expected to reach KLIA at 8pm.  Ended up reaching home at 1am that night!  First our flight was delayed.  Still ok, reached and had our dinner.  Surprisingly it took a while getting Grab.  Strange as I'd always assumed getting transport to/from KLIA would be easy.  Finally got into the car, then encountered a traffic jam.  At that time of the night??   I checked Waze way after we started and it was still over an hour home.

Anyway, reached safely.  I like our travel style (so far only 2 trips heh) - don't bring so much, don't buy so much, see/eat/enjoy and just buy some snacks home to share.  We didn't even purchase check-in baggage this time.

Our Bangkok loot

Bangkok Day 6 - Chinatown

One more day in Bangkok... what to do?  Decided on Chinatown - I hadn't been there before and I thought hubby the Cinapek would like it. 

It's a nice day

Got this temple which we didn't go in

Mummy bought some pineapple. I refused to eat

It's a little like Petaling Street but way bigger.

For lunch, surprisingly hubby picked a simple place - I'd expected him to go for the likes of abalone and sharksfin.  Or he was just too tired to walk further. :)  Anyhow, enjoyed our noodles, porridge and dim sum.

For our last dinner in Bangkok, decided to try a Vietnamese-Thai place instead of our usual 'canteen'.  Food was good!  Actually we have had consistently high-quality food this trip.  

Pork bone soup

I have since successfully replicated this pork bone soup at home heh.

Bangkok Day5 - Floating market

Day5 was easy - booked a tour for the Railway and Floating markets.  All we had to do was make it to the pickup point on time.  Then a comfortable bus with informative and entertaining local guides.  Ahhh nice change from all the walking around!   Reached the Railway market in 1.5 hours.  First observation - they were making good money just from toilets!  After the journey, many headed for the simple toilets at the first cafe despite it costing THB100/RM1.30 to enter.

An actual market is literally a step away from the train tracks.  The vendors quickly pull in their wares and overhead canvas right before the trains arrive.  Despite there being 2 trains during our visit, I didn't manage to get a good picture with the train as it was too crowded and the trains do not linger.  

After the first train

The ground was uneven and hubby opted to wait in the cafe.  The guide had explained that prices at this market were controlled by the government and sure enough, things were pretty cheap.  Coconuts were only THB20 when we saw them at THB50 in Chatuchak the day before.  Most of the things on sale were wet market items though - fresh meat, seafood, salted fish etc.  I wished there were more things for tourists.

We shall explore

Some souvenirs here?

Anyway not much time before we had to re-board the bus for the next destination.  The floating market wasn't far.  Hubby had some trouble getting on/off the long-tailed boats, luckily no mishaps.  Sitting on a boat which brings you to stalls would have been such a nice way to shop!  The guide had already informed it was tourist prices here. So we desisted appearing interested even though we noticed some things we hadn't seen before.  

Relaxing

After the short boat ride, lunch was at this cafe.  Not bad in terms of service, price and taste - even an orchid to decorate the coconut!

Lunch

Floating market is below

To my surprise, there was a third destination after lunch - Buffalo cafe.  This place had a pair of white buffalos with their calf.  Some photo ops too with the landscaping.  And a cafe with very decent offerings.

Now this here, my friends, is not a real buffalo

Coffee, ice cream and cake

We headed back to Bangkok after this stop.  A good day indeed!  Of course with these tours, it helps to have a positive mindset and not have sky-high expectations.  Being the chief tour planner, I do enjoy getting a break and letting professionals take over. 

Reached Bangkok with time to walk around CentraWorld mall.  Spoilt for choice, we finally picked a place for dinner.   

Who wants some crab?

This shaved ice dessert we ordered came with 4 generous portions of toppings on the side.  Only thing hubby had ordered TWO desserts which weren't easy to finish!  The first one came with multiple pieces of bread some more.

Dessert 

Bangkok Day4 - Malls

Started the day with the hotel buffet breakfast.  We found it average and didn't justify the many good reviews (these people must be unused to better buffets hmmff) on the booking site.   Oh well, still managed to fill our tummies to the brim.  

Buffet for breakfast

Plan for this day was just shopping malls.  JE had a few things in mind so off we headed to Siam Paragon.  She found the Smiskis hippers (glow-in-the-dark figures which sticks on phones) she'd been looking for.

Happy JE

Check out the pretty cakes!

We try the Sunny Orange and the Banoffee

We ended up walking around the shopping area - so huge!  If I'd been alone with hubby, he'd have been complaining non-stop haha.  As it was, he continued to struggle with walking so we didn't cover that much ground.   Checked out the GENTLEWOMAN store... I hadn't heard of this Thai brand earlier.  Encountered two Malay-speaking groups while in the store.

Might as well check it out

Steep stairs

Not everything was expensive but we didn't find anything suitable.

Just take a picture 

Back at the hotel, JE happily unboxed the Smiskis which are sold in a 'blind box' format.  I don't get this... why can't customers be allowed to pick the one they want?  It's not a cheap thing.  *grumble

Now which did we get?

 It was a tiring day but looking back at the photos now, I wouldn't mind doing the same thing again. :)