My birthday 2026

Right after CNY 15th day was my birthday.  I have always been emotional on this day.  The uncertainty whether colleagues would arrange lunch or I would somehow be alone (possible when colleagues happen to be stuck at meetings).  The uneasy anticipation of a birthday cake and when the cake-cutting would happen.  I take leave if possible to avoid that kind of stress and to do whatever I want on my 'special day'.

This year marks my first birthday after hubby passed.  I kept thinking of this day back in 2025 - my disappointment when hubby couldn't be discharged yet from hospital post-surgery, my annoyance that he continually requested things to be done for him until I had to have a dismal dinner due to food having run out at the shop downstairs.  I told myself that it was ok, I would make up for it in 2026.

I never expected 2026 to turn out like this.  No more hubby to pamper me with food, a massage, sometimes presents (I often don't want anything).  I tried, but still spent most of the day in tears.  Walked past CBTL and decided to redeem my birthday cake voucher because why not.  

 

Me with cake

I had considered going out for dinner but our area is predominantly Malay and I figured shops would be packed for Ramadan month.  

That evening, got a text that my parents had decided to go out for my birthday dinner.  I bawled some more.  I am so grateful to have my parents around during this dreadful chapter in my life.  We went to a nearby place which was empty (because food isn't great heh).  

Me with sponsor of dinner

I have much to be grateful for, must pick myself up and continue this journey.